how did we get here

i know its been a while and i feel like ive needed to escape my head. time to start writing again. its been a while. and im working on some new work. its been interesting with my past two years. old enemy's are friends and old lovers are dead and gone. i am already writing more. just cant post it on here yet. not finished. and i have a cowriter. ive been doing good. i will be going back to cedar point this season. im excited. i have huge plans to escape everthing. life in general is dificult. you must fight for what you belive in. i am off to go write more. perhaps i will write a story on here soon. loves misery.

if you wanna play it like a game..

claudia grabed the knife that was sitting on the table next to her. it was just to much. maybe just one more cut. just one little push deeper. she needed to get rid of the pain, the hurt. she needed her escape, her rush. she couldnt handle it anymore. so much blood draining out of her. she just smiled and pushed in a little deeper. she could feel herself growing weak. all she wanted to do was slowly disapear into nothingness. just cease to exist. no one would care or notice. she glanced at the bedside table. staring at the picture of her face as she slowly blacked into nothingness.

Sarah slowly walked back to the house. she felt horrible after the huge fight with claudia that morning. she just was frustrated that claudia wouldnt except her help even though they loved each other. she walked down the hall hearing her loves music play softly in the background. she figured she had fallen asleep and she would just crawl into bed with her..

Sarah opened the door and screamed and fell to the floor. there was blood everywhere. a puddle forming down the side of the bed. she scrambled  up and rushed to claudias side. she felt the side of her neck and felt a faint heartbeat. she ran to the bathroom and grabbed a washcloth and pressed it against the cuts running down claudias arm. she had tears streaming down her face, sobbing she grabed the phone off the bedside table and dialed 911..

claudias eyes cracked open. the felt heavy and the light was just so bright. but she heard someone talking. "where am i", she though to herself, couldnt be dead. her eyes opened just a little bit more and she saw sarahs hair and felt her hand in hers. the long bandage creaping up the side a silent reminder of what had happed. "Sarah", it was weak and feeble. almost unaudible.."sarahhh." she tried again and attempted to move her hand. she jerked awake, sitting up quickly. her hair going everywhere. her eyes bewildered. a wonderful shade of green stared back at her before she was encased in arms.  tears were running down her eyes.

Sarah jerked awake to see claudias eyes open. she started feeling the tears run down her face as she quickly wraped her arms around claudia. she pulled her close and wispered that it will all be ok. i wont ever leave you again. i love you. you silly silly girl. all i ever did was love you.



a few months later:

sarah visited claudia every chance she could. the facility was wonderful about letting her see each other. things were looking up and claudia was suposed to come home with her that day. as she rounded the corner to her room she saw her looking out the window. with a big grin on her face as the sun shone through her hair.  im blessed to have my angel she though to herself before inching closer to yell suprise before wraping her arms around her.  she grabbed her and and said ready to leave. the quick nod from claudia was all she needed. she grabbed the bags from the bed in one hand and claudias outstreched hand in the other. she quickly kissed her before they wandered tward the front.


Claudia stared at the beautiful girl holding her hand and walking with her. smiling thinking that she was so glad she had been saved and got to spend the rest of her life with her. she signed her own name on the line at the desk. bidding a farewell to the nurse as she turned to face the world. as she got outside they started walking tward the car. she stopped but only for a second to look back and decided, never again. never again. she gripped sarahs hand tighter before they got to the car. as she was pulling away she smiled, thinking about all the things they could do now. she kept her eyes forward at the open road. never looking back..

lets take it from the top..

so. lifes been slowly getting better. i think. i might get a promotion. which i desperatly need. and i think i found a roommate today. not sure. so. thats intruqing. or however you spell that. my sleep habbits have gotten worse but that can be fixed to. my parents want me gone even more so than before so that stresses me out. its a big day today. so. wish me luck...hopefully i dont fall on my face...

Must we go there?

so this weeks kinda sucked so far alot. ive been so stressed over everything that i pretty much passed out at rehersal tonight. i feel like uck. and i still cant sleep at night. i dont like it. i just need to relax somehow, all the drama and everything just needs to dissapear for a while. that would be nice. lol. i cant exactly control how shit turns out anymore that i did before( which didnt happen very much in the first place)

well good news is my birthday is tomorrow. ill be older! lol...i already feel old. its also my first payday! hmm. yay for money. i need it with todays prices on life. ugh i feel like i should be able to buy myself a life. meh. i have no clue what im gonna do for my b-day anyways. besides drone away at work.  gah! someone just come remove my brain. hopefully it will get better...

well i need to go find sleep. help??

pretty soon you wont remember a thing..

Lilith grabbed her camera from the bag next to her as she snapped a shot of the robin perched nearby. She was ecstatic with the spot she had found exploring today. She had grabbed a picnic lunch and a water bottle, her camera bag and her coat and ventured out the door that morning. she felt like something amazing was going to happen! as she traveled farther into the woods on the trails she had found she came upon an old brick wall, or at least that's what she assumed it was.

She ventured closer, snapping a few shots here and there. it was a beautiful structure. she walked toward the end of the wall only to discover that it was there to protect the crumbling manor behind it. She discovered the house was stable but in a tad bit of disrepair. she ventured into the door way and was startled to find bits and pieces of old furniture sitting around. a chair, a bookshelf in the corner, papers scattered across the floor.The camera in her hands was pointed everywhere, capturing this old beauty. she wandered to the next room with a fireplace at one end and a mirror at the other. there was one lone, velvet covered, Victorian styled armchair was sitting in front of the fireplace. there was a rustling coming from the chair. she backed away thinking it might have been an animal and then ventured closer as she heard light humming....

she peered around the side of the tall chair to come across a girl with her headphones in drawing on a large sketch pad. Lilith jumped about 5 feet in the air and fell backwards, loosing her bag as rolls of film and memory cards flew into the air...

The girl jumped up and yelled and then after she got over the initial shock she asked if she was OK. Lilith shook her head yes and staggered to her feet, for a minuet she though she was going to find a dead body in the chair. she was relieved to instead find a gorgeous girl who was very much alive. the girl introduced herself as Chloe and Lilith introduced herself as well to the odd girl in front of her. Lilith felt and odd sort of deja vu. she then felt her heart speed up as she slowly took a longer look at the creature in front of her. she was beautiful and entrancing. Lilith felt dizzy with  thoughts of another time racing across her brain. she asked how Chloe had come across the house as well. Chloe stated she had just had a need to walk out the door with her art supplies that day. she felt like there was something wonderful about to happen that day. and she blushed and stated that it had.

Lilith blinked and grabbed the corner of the armchair as her world spun around til Chloe grabbed her arm and the world stopped spinning. she focused on the girls dark grey-blue eyes as they stared back into hers. Chloe leaned inward toward Lilith as Lilith leaned into Chloe. there lips meet and sparks flew.she felt like she was floating on air. she stumbled a little and went into Chloe's arms. she smiled as she glanced up at the girl who caught her. they grabbed hands and turned from the house. wandering out the doorway they glanced back, where would they head now. they turned to the path and walked as the leaves crunched beneath their toes as they walked toward the unknown.....

i wont be sorry at all...

the moonlight played across the water as she glanced out from the balcony, the music from the ballroom playing behind her. She wandered tward the steps to the gardens getting some air from all the dancing she had done for the night. she wanted a break as she couldnt stand all the snotty boys and there airs as they tried to seduce her with little presents and charming wit. she would rather be far away. they had never held much interest for her.

she wandered the path tward the roses and sat on the bench facing the beach, as the moonlight shone in her eyes and the salt water air stired her hair. she felt like a moon being. she wished that she could just find someone to trust. she startled as she heard the rustle of a gown and footsteps approaching. she turned and could see it was just her friend come to find her. as she felt the fabric brush against her as her friend sat she turned to look at her face and saw beauty that was beond all what a boy could ever hold. she held her hand as friends did and smiled at her as she hid her feelings wondering if they were natural at all.

they started talking of how stupid boys were and gosiipping on the girls in the ballroom behind them. the dance swirled in the windows behind them. never devuldging what was going on down below in the soft moonlight. they continued to talk and walked to the far side of the garden where the orchids were blooming. smelling wonderful she leaned in closer at the same time and came face to face with the girl. she startled a little but then her friend leaned in closer. there lips meet in a single second and i was like nothing had ever exsisted before it. they jumped appart knowing full well it was taboo, but they couldnt help at the leaps and bounds  there hidden feeling had grown. she grabbed her friends hand and they ran off to the shadows of the maze benieth the balcony where no one would see as she placed another kiss on her lips. they sat on the bench and held eachother. not wanting to let go.

as the night drew later they wandered back inside to there appropriate partys promising to meet up after it had ended..

she franticaly searched her room looking for anything they might need on the run. she couldnt leave her. just couldnt let her go. she was on her mind all the time. she grabbed all the dresses and every inch of fabric and jewels she owned and stuffed it into the trunk. she heard a soft knock at the door as the girl of her dreams oppened it. she rushed into her arms for a quick embrace before dragging the trunk out of the room.

she loaded the cairage with there trunks and she glanced behind at the home she was leaving. she placed her hand into hers and smiled. they would find a way to make it alright. the wheels turned as the carage pulled away and they retreated into the night..

close your eyes and make believe

      


  She gripped the side of the fence as she sat and kicked her legs back and forth. humming a tune with no known melody. smiling as the wind played with her hair. she was waiting for school to get out. she pulled from her pocket a keychain with a single picture holder on it. she grinned as she stared at the grainy picture. remembering the night that it was taken and how much fun she had with her. she gave a giggle and heard the school bell sound behind her as she paticently waited for her to show.

Trinity watched as she drug her feet along the sidewalk tward her. the days of mind numbing learning had been long and borring. trinity hopped off the fence while saying hello. she embraced the poor mind numbed girl in a sweet hug and pulled her chin up so she could look into her eyes.

the smile of relief that spread across the girls face was beautiful as trinity leaned in close to give a quick sweet kiss to the cherry red lips. they held hands as they wandered off to the car, escaping off into the day....